The man known as Blue Canon
by Samurai-Panda91
Summary: This is the introduction to my One Piece OC, Buchanan D Matthew. I wanted him to show up after the Thriller Bark Arc so he could meet the entire crew. I think I did this story pretty well and I included a Flogging Molly song too. More specifically, Tobacco Island. I hope you all enjoy it! Written by Samurai-Poet


Monkey D Luffy stares lazily at the sea before him, lying down on the bow head of the Thousand Sunny.  
The only thing that cuts through the silence of the sea is the snoring of the grizzled swordsman, lying on the grassy deck.  
"Oi, Ussop!" Luffy calls out to the crows' nest.  
"What, Luffy?!" the long-nosed marksman calls back.  
"Do you see any islands yet?"  
Usopp looks through the spyglass for what seems to be the thousandth time out upon the bounding mane.  
"Not even enough to form a village!" he calls back.  
"Awwwww!" Luffy groans.  
He throws up his arms and shouts: "It's so damn boring here!"  
A rotten tangerine goes squish on the back of Luffy's head  
"Be quiet, then!" their orange haired navigator shouts.  
Luffy pouts and looks back to the sea.  
That's when he sees something dotting the waters.  
_What the…?_ He thinks.  
His eyes open wide in excitement.  
"Ship ahoy!" he shouts, grinning.  
Usopp looks in the direction Luffy is indicating.  
"Are you sure, Luffy?"  
"Well, what's left of it," Luffy finishes.  
Usopp's eyes open widely in panic. He grabs a megaphone hanging by a hook up in the crow's nest.  
"SHIPWRECK AHOY!" he shouts through it.  
At that call, everyone, except Zoro, drops what they are doing and heads up onto the deck.  
"What?" Nami shouts.  
"Oh my!" Brook shouts. "Is it a ghost ship?"  
"No! It's a shipwreck!" Chopper shouts. "Someone call a doctor!"  
"MAN THE MINI-MERRY II!" Usopp shouts.  
"Right away!" Franky shouts, running off to the docking system down below.  
Luffy stretches his arms out and grabs hold of the cyborg's shoulders.  
"I'm comin' with ya!" Luffy says.  
Only fifteen minutes later, Luffy and Franky are on their paddle boat, coming up to the wreckage.  
It's a medium sized dinghy, complete with a cabin, that's been shot, sliced, and crushed to Hell.  
"Damn!" Franky shouts at the destruction. "What the hell hit this ship?"  
"I don't know," Luffy answers. "Maybe a sea king attacked it."  
"Then, how do explain the bullet holes?" Franky says, tapping the holes.  
Luffy scrunches up his face and thinks for a while. He plops his fist into his palm.  
"The sea king had a gun!" he says.  
The cyborg smacks him in the head, making it bob back and forth.  
"Your logic still continues to baffle me!" he shouts.  
At that moment, a groan emanates from the cabin.  
Franky and Luffy run over to the cabin and head inside.  
"Oh, crap," Franky whispers as they look at the person inside.

**ENTER BUCHANAN D MATTHEW!  
The Stranded Will of D Owner**

Luffy and Franky drop the big man down on the Thousand Sunny's deck.  
He's a large man with some muscle on him. He's a little tanned from the sun and his hair and beard are a light brown, probably bleached as well. He is dressed in a jacket with a blue shirt and shorts. He's wearing a silver cross and a dog tag, each on a separate length of chain, a hachimaki from the East Blue hanging around his neck, and he has a brown cowboy hat clutched in one hand and a small treasure chest in another. He also has a long, full carrying sack on his back.  
"Aw!" Sanji groans in agony. "I thought it was gonna be a babe!"  
"Is he…dead?" Usopp asks, scooting forward, in a fighting stance.  
"If he was dead," Their archeologist says, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Then they would have left him for the starving fishies."  
"Do you have to be so morbid, Robin?" Nami asks, her eyes then transform into beris. "Besides, shouldn't we check out what's in that chest of his?"  
Chopper comes forward and puts his ear to the man's chest.  
"His heartbeat's really shallow!" the reindeer shouts. "He's been exposed to the sun for too long! We need to get him into the shade and cool him down!"

The burden of pain lifts from his body and a soothing relief washes over his body like water.  
_This must be it,_ he thinks. _I must be heading over to the other side._  
That's when he senses strange smells; meat, steel, mandarin oranges, money, gunpowder, cigarettes, seafood, fur, snow, flowers, cola, and tea.  
_Is this what heaven smells like?_  
He slowly opens his eyes. They are blessed with the view of a pair of well endowed women.  
"It sure as Hell looks like Heaven!" the man shouts, leaping out of the water at the red head and the raven haired woman.  
"COLLIER SHOOT!" a voice shouts as a foot slams into his neck.  
The man goes flying back into the pool.  
"Anyone who touches Nami-swan and Robin-chwan gets a heapin' helpin' of my feet!" the cook shouts.  
"Didja have to kill him, Sanji?" Nami groans. "He may have offered us a reward for saving him."  
Suddenly, the man bursts out of the water and fires a punch at Sanji. Sanji only barely dodges it.  
"I ain't dead yet, girlie!" he shouts.  
_Shit, that was close!_ Sanji thinks. _He almost actually landed a hit! He must be pretty shittin' skilled._  
"Yer gonna pay for ruining my fun!" the man roars like a bear.  
"He must be delusional from sun stroke!" Chopper shouts.  
"I'll put him down!" Franky shouts, holding out his left arm.  
"WEAPONS LEFT!"  
His arm then rotates inward and his wrist opens like a door hinge, revealing a cannon built into his arm. It fires a cannonball into the man's stomach, exploding on contact.  
"Got him!" Franky shouts.  
But, the man comes rampaging out of the smoke cloud.  
"Oh, man!" Franky shouts.  
The man rushes up and gives Franky a good punch to the face.  
"Shit!" Franky grunts.  
The man runs up the stairs, grabbing his things by the door.  
"YOU AIN'T TAKIN' ME BACK!" the man shouts.  
"At this rate," Sanji says as he stands up. "That shitty moron'll tear the Sunny apart."  
"What?!" Luffy shouts. "We can't let him do that! Let's kick his ass!"

As the man runs, he trips over Zoro's legs.  
"Zoro!" Luffy shouts.  
"Huh? What?" the green haired swordsman groans awake. "Is it morning already?"  
"Stop him, he's crazy!" the captain orders.  
"Yeah, this ship'll do that to ya," Zoro mumbles.  
The swordsman begins to draw two of his three swords.  
"No, Zoro!" Luffy shouts. "Don't kill him!"  
"What?!" Zoro grunts.  
"It's not his fault this is happening!" Luffy continues. "He's just sick from sunstroke!"  
_Dammit, Luffy!_ Zoro thinks. _You're more trouble than you're worth!_  
Zoro puts his swords away and holds up his arms.  
_Looks like I've got to be usin' that technique._  
He runs up to the guy, holds his hands out and spins around.  
"TATSUMAKI!" he shouts, spinning around.  
The force generated from the spinning of his arms creates a tornado and sends the guy flying into the sky.  
"That ought to take care of him," Zoro grunts, content.  
But, the man grabs hold of one of the ropes that holds the sails together and swings from it.  
"TRY AS YOU MIGHT," he shouts. "YOU AIN'T TAKIN' ME WITHOUT A FIGHT!"  
"He has lost it," Usopp says.  
"How are we gonna stop him now?" Luffy asks.  
"Allow me, Mr. Captain," Robin says. Robin crosses her arms, palms out.  
"DOS FLUER!" she says.  
Just then, Robin's arms come out of the man's arms and tickle his armpits.  
"Q-quit it!" the man laughs uproariously. "You're gonna kill me!"  
At that moment, unable to hold on any longer, the man falls from the rope, crashing into the crates off to the side.  
"Dammit!" Usopp shouts. "That's our food!"  
Usopp pulls up his staff-slingshot, the Kabuto, and pulls it back, just as the man pulls himself from the crates.  
"FIRE BIRD STAR!"  
Usopp launches a ball of fire that morphs into the shape of a bird and engulfs the man in flames.  
"Got him!" he proclaims proudly. "Marvel at my superior sniping skills!"  
But, a growl emerges from the flames as the man takes a step towards the crew. Ussop quickly runs behind Nami.  
"Please, save me!" he whispers cowardly.  
"Usopp!" Nami shouts angrily.  
"Don't worry, cutie-pie!" The man growls as he comes forward. "I'll take ya on!"  
Nami sticks her tongue out at him.  
"I'd like to see you try, big boy!" she says as she pulls out three small poles with orbs on the end.  
"COOL BALL! HEAT BALL!" She shouts as she spins two of the poles and blue and red ghost-like orbs come out of the poles and rise into the air. These balls form together and create a cloud.  
"What the-?" the man grunts.  
"THUNDER BALL!" she shouts, swinging the last section, sending out a yellow, ghost-like orb into the cloud.  
"Oh, crap!" Usopp shouts, ducking.  
"THUNDERBOLT TEMPO!" Nami shouts.  
At that moment, a lightning bolt careens down from the sky and hits the man squarely on the forehead.  
The entire crew shields their eyes from the blinding light.  
"My eyes! I'm blind!" Brook shouts. He then takes his hands from his eyes. "Although, I don't have any eyes. Yohohohohohohohoho! SKULL JOKE!  
"You think you overdid it a bit, Nami?!" Ussop shouts.  
"Uh, maybe," Nami chuckles sheepishly.  
Once the light dies down, everyone uncovers their eyes and finds the man charred and smoking.  
"Is he finally out of it?" Zoro asks.  
"It seems that way," Nami smiles.  
"THAT'S MY NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji says with hearts in his eyes, flailing his arms around.  
"Oh, goody," Chopper groans. "More wounds to heal."  
"I'm fine, reindeer," a voice says.  
"I'M A TANUKI, ASSHOLE!" Chopper shouts. "Wait, who said that?"  
"I did!" the man says, slowly moving forward.  
"Crap!" Usopp shouts. "He's still alive!"  
"AWESOME!" Luffy shouts. "SO COOL!"  
"Dammit!" Nami shouts, readying her batons.  
"Allow me, Nami-san!" Brook shouts, lifting up his sword cane.  
"Brook! No blade! I want him alive!" Luffy shouts.  
"I know, captain!" Brook shouts as he charges with blinding speed at the man.  
"Just try it, ya bag-o-bones!" the man shouts.  
Brook, with blinding speed smacks the cane against the man's neck and stops three feet away from him.  
"THREE-VERSE HUMMING: ARROW-NOTCH SLICE!" Brook shouts.  
At that moment, the man halts in his tracks.  
"What the Hell was that?" Zoro asks.  
"I just hit the nerves in his neck," Brook answers. "Doctor-san?"  
"Right!" Chopper shouts, reaches into his hat and pulls out a yellow jawbreaker.  
"RUMBLE!" he shouts as he pops it in his mouth and bites into it.  
"ARM POINT!" he shouts as his arms become muscular and bulging. He runs over to the man and pulls his hoof down.  
"HOOFPRINT ROSEO!" he shouts as he gives the man an uppercut to the chin, sending him sailing into the air.  
"Hey! I want to join in too!" Luffy shouts.  
He stretches his arms and twists them in a spiral and grabs hold of the man's head.  
"GUM GUM…." Luffy announces.  
He unwraps his arms and spins the guy around in the air and bringing him down.  
"HAMMER!" he shouts.  
He smashes the guy deep into the floor.  
"Alright! I beat him!" Luffy shouts. "This calls for a feast! SANJI, MEAT!"  
"Oh, God, not again," Sanji groans as he lights up a cigarette.  
Franky runs over to Luffy and smacks him in the head again.  
"Dammit, Luffy!" he shouts, fuming. "Don't wreck the Sunny!"  
"What?" Luffy asks.  
"Look!" Franky points at the hole that the guys' sticking out of like a potted plant.  
"Who the Hell did this?!" Luffy shouts, shocked.  
"What a moron," Zoro groans.  
Just then, a growl emanates from underneath the floorboards.  
"It…can't…be…" Zoro gasps.  
The man bursts out from under the floorboards, clutching a large I-beam.  
"I told you…" the man growls.  
"Oh, crap!" the crew shouts.  
"YOU AIN'T TAKIN' ME WITHOUT A FIIIIIGHHHHTTTT!" He yells, swinging the wooden club.  
_Damn!_ Luffy thinks, squatting down. _Looks like I've got to use that technique!_  
Just then, the man collapses down on the ground with a thud.  
"What the…?" Luffy says, surprised.  
The crew looks at the man.  
The man turns his head, revealing tears in his eyes.  
"Soooooooo huuuuuuuuuuuuuungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" He groans.

"That. Damn. Idiot!" Franky shouts with each hammering of the pegs. "How in the Hell was he able to break the Thousand Sunny? It was made from Adam's wood for cryin' out loud!  
"Relax, Franky," Usopp says, also hammering in the pegs of the floorboards. "It could have been worse."  
"_How_ could it have possibly been worse?!" Franky shouts.  
"He could have not been hungry and he could have done worse damage to the Sunny," Usopp answers.  
Franky gasps at realization of the truth.  
"You're right!" Franky shouts. "We were lucky."  
"Well," Usopp says, straightening up his back. "Looks like we did our best! Let's head into the galley!"  
"Can't argue with that!" Franky says, leaping up. "I can't wait to get some SUUUUPAAA-fresh cola!"  
The long-nosed sniper and the cyborg shipwright head up the stairs to the next deck and enter into the galley.  
"Hey, Sanji!" Usopp shouts as he swings the door open. "Is there any food left?"  
They are answered by silence save for the gobbling sounds of the newcomer.  
All the dishes he's eaten are stacked, ceiling to floor, and there are twenty five stacks of them.  
Sanji, Nami, and Brook stare at the man eating with their mouths hanging open, Zoro stares with bug eyes, Robin chuckles at the sight, Chopper gazes at the man with starry eyes, but, Luffy stares long and hard at the man. As if he's thinking about something.  
The man has finished the Peking duck and is now moving on to the ramen.  
"How long were we fixing the floorboards?" Usopp whispers to Sanji.  
"Almost seven, shittin' hours," Sanji grumbles.  
"SEVEN?! This guy could put Luffy's appetite to shame!"  
"Let's hope not."  
Suddenly, the man slams done his ramen bowl, jarring everyone from their thoughts. The man flashes a huge smile and puts his hands together.  
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M ALIVE AGAIN!" he shouts. "Thanks to you kind kids! I thought I was dead for sure!"  
"That's nice," Nami says. "Now, about the saving-your-life fee."  
"The what?" the man asks.  
"Nami!" Usopp shouts.  
"What?!" Nami shouts back defensively at Ussop. "We know he can afford it!"  
"How the Hell do you know that?" Zoro asks.  
"Are you questioning Nami-swan's intelligence, you shitty moss-head?!" Sanji shouts.  
"Sanji, relax," Nami pulls Sanji back. "I know that he can pay is because of that treasure chest he was carrying."  
"What, this?" the man says, lifting up the treasure chest from the floor. "This is my suppository box!"  
An awkward silence, save for Robin's chuckling, is all that prevails.  
"Ooookay!" Nami says, weirded out.  
"Suppositories?" Chopper asks. "How old are you, Mister…"  
"Oh, I'm sorry!" The man says, standing up, taking off his hat and bowing. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Buchanan D Matthew! Nice to meet you! And, I just contracted a bad disease, is all. I'm still just 39."  
Suddenly, Luffy leaps from his seat and runs across the long table. He stops short right in front of the man, sticking a finger in his face.  
"I KNEW IT!" Luffy shouts. "I thought you looked familiar!"  
"What's going on, Luffy?" Franky asks. "You know this guy?"  
"Know him?!" Luffy shouts. "I fought him!"  
"YOU FOUGHT HIM?!" the crew shouts in disbelief.  
Just then, Matthew's eyes grow wide with delight.  
"Wait!" he shouts. "I remember you too! You're 'Anchor' Luffy!"  
"WHAT?! That's how you remember me?!"  
"Luffy, just who the Hell is this guy?" Zoro growls.  
"It's 'Mega-Gut' Matthew!" Luffy answers.  
"Mega-Gut?" Brook asks.  
"Yeah! I met him in Foosha village when I was five…"

Buchanan D Matthew, 22 years old, digs into the huge platter of meat on the table in Foosha village. The man opposing him falls from his chair, bloated, and slams on the ground like a fallen oak.  
The crowd goes wild.  
"And the reigning champion is, once more, Mega-Gut!" the announcer shouts through the megaphone.  
_Ah! That was a good contest!_ Matthew thinks, satisfied.  
"It looks like there are no more challengers today, so this contest is finished!" the announcer says.  
"WAIT!" a little voice shouts.  
"What?!" the announcer shouts.  
Just then, the crowd parts and a little boy with scruffy black hair, blue shorts, sandals, and a shirt with an anchor design and the text saying "anchor" walks up to the table.  
"I heard that you are the biggest eater in this neighborhood. I, Monkey D Luffy, will beat you, Mega-Gut!" the boy shouts.  
The entire crowd bursts into gales of laughter.  
"HE wants to take on Mega-Gut?!" a bystander shouts.  
"That little shrimp?! That's a laugh!" another shouts.  
"He wouldn't last five minutes!" the announcer laughs.  
"I'll prove it to you!" Luffy shouts as he takes his position at the table.  
At the sound of the bell, Luffy and Matthew dig into their plates like rabid wolves.  
The crowd was wrong.  
Luffy only lasted _four_ minutes.  
As he groans on the floor, with his balloon belly, Matthew walks over to the announcer and gets his share of the beris.  
"You," Luffy groans. "What's your name?"  
"Me?" Matthew flashes Luffy a roguish grin. "I'm Buchanan D Matthew."  
"Buchanan D Matthew," Luffy growls. "One day, I'll find you and I'll finally surpass you!"  
"You can try, son," Matthew says. "I'll see ya on the Grand Line."

"…And I forgot about him the instant Shanks arrived in the town," Luffy finishes.  
"WHAT?!" Matthew shouts, enraged. "You swore vengeance on me, and then you just forgot I even existed?!"  
"Luffy's mind works that way," Nami shrugs.  
"You said it," Ussop replies.  
"Well, anyway," Matthew continues, wrapping his arm around Luffy's shoulder. "It's good to see ya again!"  
"I'm glad to see you too!" Luffy replies.  
"Look at you! Man, you've grown from being such a squirt! And it looks like you've eaten a Devil Fruit, too."  
"Yeah," the captain responds, grabbing hold of his cheek and stretching it out. "I ate the Gum-Gum Fruit!"  
"I could tell," Matthew says, rubbing his sore head. "So, in the end, you became a pirate, huh?"  
"Yep!" Luffy confirms with a smile. "And one day, I'm gonna be King!"  
"So," Matthew continues. "You and your crew are lookin' for the One Piece, huh? From what I heard from the wanted posters, you guys are pretty damn strong."  
"That's right! Let me introduce you! There's Zoro, our swordsman."  
"The Pirate Hunter, right?" Matthew identifies him.  
"Right," Zoro confirms.  
"Nami, our navigator."  
"How could I mistake such an alluring face?" Matthew says.  
"Are you trying to seduce my dear Nami-swan?!" Sanji asks, fired up.  
"Forget him, Sanji-kun," Nami says, patting his shoulder. She shakes hands with Matthew. "Nice to meet you."  
"Likewise," Matthew responds.  
"Usopp, our marksman."  
"I'm sure you know about me," Usopp says, striking a proud pose. "My infamy as Sogeking must be legendary in all the Four Blues."  
"You mean _you_ were the guy who shot Chief Spandam _and_ burned down the World Government's flag at Enies Lobby?!" Matthew says, astonished.  
"That's right!" Usopp says, beaming with pride.  
"I thought the nose was part of the mask," Matthew continues. "There's no way something that ridiculous could exist in real life!"  
"What was that?!" Usopp shouts angrily. "I got this from my mother and proud of it!"  
"Alright, then," Matthew says, raising his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry."  
"Good," Usopp says. "I'd hate to have to crush you with my 800,000 men."  
"Bullshit," Matthew responds.  
"Dammit!" Usopp curses. "He saw right through me."  
"There's Sanji," Luffy continues. "Our cook."  
"Black Leg Sanji?" Matthew asks.  
"That's right," Sanji grins.  
"He looks absolutely nothing like his wanted poster," Matthew says.  
Sanji drops to his hands and knees, pounding the deck in agony as Zoro laughs his head off.  
"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Sanji shouts.  
"What?" Matthew asks innocently. "Was it something I said?"  
"No, it's nothing," Zoro says between laughs.  
"There's our doctor, Chopper."  
"There's no way this little guy can be worth a measly 50 beris," Matthew says, rubbing his chin. "This kid's got a punch like a rocket!"  
"Quit praising me, you dumbass human!" Chopper says and he smiles, blushes and dances happily. "You won't make me happy just by flattering me!"  
_He sure looks happy,_ Matthew says, sweating a little.  
"Our archeologist, Robin."  
"The infamous Devil Child, huh?" Matthew says. "Her picture does her beauty no justice."  
"I know, right~?!" Sanji says, all lovey-dovey.  
"You're too kind," Robin chuckles as she shakes Matthew's hand.  
"Our shipwright, Franky."  
"Do you mind if I say that I love your style, Franky?" Matthew asks.  
"My style?" Franky says, confused.  
"The way you dress," Matthew answers. "It's awesome!"  
"Why, thank you!" Franky says, high-fiving Matthew.  
"And last, but not least; our musician, Brook."  
"A musician, huh? I'd love to hear some of your music soon," Matthew smiles.  
"I look forward to it!" Brook says happily.  
"So what were you doing out there in the middle of the Grand Line?" Nami asks.  
"And in such a pathetic ship, too," the shipwright adds in.  
"I'm just wanderin'," Matthew answers.  
"Wandering around on the Grand Line?!" Nami says incredulously. "You have no idea where you're going?!"  
"Actually, yeah. I've got nothing important to get through, so I just drift from island to island. I got rid of my troubles ever since I threw my log pose into the ocean. It's a relaxing experience."  
"You're insane!" Ussop shouts. "The Log Pose is the only way to navigate the Grand Line! I'm surprised you haven't been killed yet!"  
"Hey, speaking of which," Franky says. "What the Hell happened to your ship?"  
"What do you mean?" Matthew asks.  
"When we found it, the ship was shot to Hell and torn to pieces. What attacked you?"  
Matthew looks left and right, nervous.  
"It was attacked by a sea king," Matthew responds. "It had a gun."  
Franky plops his face into his hand.  
"Oh, God," he groans.  
"So," Matthew continues. "You got anymore food?"  
"YOU JUST ATE ALL OF IT!" the entire crew, except Luffy shouts.  
"Wait," Luffy shouts horrified. "He ate all the food?!"  
Suddenly, the entire ship shakes.  
"What's that?!" Chopper shouts.  
"It's coming from outside!" Franky shouts.  
All the Straw Hats run outside to see what the Hell is going on.  
They are all greeted by the sight of a whole school of giant Sea Kings.  
"Holy crap!" Ussop shouts  
"They're huge!" Nami shouts.  
"They must've been the ones who sunk my ship!" Matthew shouts.  
Suddenly, one of the sea kings spits some water out of his mouth and it flies into the ship like a bullet.  
"An archerfish sea king!" Franky explains.  
_Crap!_ Matthew thinks, grabbing his arm. _Looks like I've got to-_  
Suddenly, Luffy fires a rubbery punch into the archerfish sea king's snout.  
"Wahoo~!" Luffy yells. "Look at that, Zoro~!"  
"Yeah!" Zoro shouts. "I love sea king meat!"  
"I can make a lot of dishes with sea king meat," Sanji smiles as he lights a cigarette.  
"Let's go, Straw Hat's!" Luffy yells as he charges at the sea kings, his crew following him.  
Matthew stares in awe as the crew attacks the monstrous creatures.  
The cook spins around on one leg until it catches on fire and he kicks a tentacled sea king, singing its flesh and cooking it.  
"Heh," Sanji chuckles. "I haven't even diced it yet and it's already cooked."  
The swordsman performs itouryu iaido (one-sword style quickdraw) on a monstrous sea king, slicing it down the middle.  
"That takes care of that one," Zoro grins.  
At that instant, another sea king attacks Zoro, but the marimo dodges out of the way of it.  
"There's always a bigger fish," He groans as he draws two of his swords.  
The doctor eats another one of those yellow jawbreakers and takes a form with even large horns and uses them to gore the eyes of the sea kings.  
"I'll show you the power of the Rumble Ball!" Chopper shouts, attacking.  
The navigator once more uses the "Thunderbolt Tempo" attack and electrifies a great deal of the sea kings.  
"Today's weather consists of massive thunderstorms, so 50 foot aquatic monsters better watch out!" Nami says with a smile.  
The sharpshooter fires a missile that separates into four lead bullets and hits a sea king in the head.  
"That's right!" Usopp shouts, pointing up to the sky. "No one stands a chance against the great Sogeking~!"  
The archeologist summons a giant fist out of the backs of one of the sea kings and uses it to slam on the heads of the other sea kings.  
"Fu-fu-fu-fu-fu~!" She laughs. "This is just _too_ easy."  
The skeleton draws his cane, revealing it to be a sword cane, and slices up the sea kings.  
"Yohohohohohohohohoho~!" Brook laughs, slicing the sea kings. "Nothing like a fight to warm the cockles of a pirate's heart! Though, I don't have a heart anymore. Yohohohohohohohohohoho~! SKULL JOKE~!"  
Just then, one of the sea kings flops onto the ship and the shipwright runs up to it.  
"Get the Hell off of my dream ship!" Franky shouts as he swings a metallic right fist into the sea king's chin. Then, ten more sea kings rise from out of the depths.  
"Alright, then!" Franky says. Franky takes out a t-shaped bar and sticks it between his forearms. He then rotates the front of the bar and his forearms inflate a little bigger.  
"COUP DE VENT!" Franky shouts. The end of the pipe fires out a compressed cannonball of air, smashing into the sea kings, blowing them away.  
"Alright!" Franky shouts, half of his hair hanging down.  
Then, the captain fires his attacks at the sea kings.  
"GUM GUM PISTOL!" He fires a stretchy punch at a sea king's forehead as another one comes up from behind.  
"GUM GUM GATLING!" He throws punches rapid fire, pummeling the sea king into the sea.  
Luffy then lands on a sea king and swings his foot straight up into the air, stretching it out.  
"GUM GUM AXE!" The foot comes careening down and slams into the sea king's cranium, sending a shockwave in the sea, sending all the other sea kings flying.  
Then, the sea kings that are left alive retreat.  
"Ya-hoo~!" Luffy shouts, sitting on the defeated sea king. "C'mon, guys~! Reel me in! We're eatin' sea king tonight!"  
"Alright, alright," Zoro groans, swinging a hook on a rope. "Keep your shirt on."  
Matthew stares at them, astonished.  
_Unbelievable,_ he thinks. _That was the upstart shrimp that swore vengeance against me?_  
Matthew smiles to himself.  
_It's a good thing we're friends now,_ Matthew thinks. _'Cause I'd hate to fight something like that._

Sanji has cooked up a special banquet in celebration of their new friend.  
"Yosh!" Luffy shouts, excited. "Ittadakemasu~!"  
"Amen, brother~!" Matthew shouts happily.  
The two of them attack the buffet with unfettered hunger, only to be pacified by Nami's well-placed punches.  
"The starving go first!" she shouts.  
"But we _are_ starving!" they both respond.  
"Why the Hell are you acting like him?!" She shouts at Matthew.  
"Ya know, we could debate about that all night," Usopp says. "Or, we could start eating now!"  
"Well said, long-nose!" Franky concurs.  
Everyone gets their own heaping helping of food and dig in.  
"God damn!" Matthew shouts. "I've been to all the Four Blues and this is some of the best cooking I've ever eaten!"  
"What?!" Nami shouts.  
"You've been to all Four Blues?!" Usopp shouts.  
"Yep!" Matthew confirms. "All on my own. And I started out when I was only 19, too!"  
"Wow~!" Chopper says.  
"Interesting," Robin says, smiling.  
"That young, huh?" Zoro asks.  
"Yep!"  
"Wow!" Sanji says. "I bet you must've met some amazing women while you were wanderin'!"  
"Yeah!" Brook agrees.  
"You better believe it, my friends!" Matthew says, with a prideful smile, a nostalgic sigh, and a lustful nosebleed on his face. "The spicy chicks of the South Blue~! The vulnerable girls of the West Blue~! The strong women of the North Blue~! And the lovely ladies of the East Blue~!"  
"Oh~! It sounds like heaven~!" Sanji says, dreamily. "All I've known are East Blue women, not that there's anything wrong with that. I would love to meet the other types."  
"Me too!" Brook agrees.  
"And then," Matthew continues. "I headed out to see the exotic females of the Grand Line~!"  
"Hell yeah~!" Sanji shouts.  
"Oh, but how we love the la~dies~!" Brook sings.  
Sanji, Matthew, and Brook begin to dance arm in arm and sing.

_There's mo~re pretty girls than one~!  
Mo~re pretty girls than one~!  
An~y ol' town that I ramble all around in~  
There's mo~re pretty girls than one~!_

Nami tosses a shoe at the three of them.  
"Stupid perverts!" she shouts.  
"But, Nami~swan is the only girl for me~!" Sanji shouts.  
"Women are beautiful, but I've got too much self-respect to love that kind of woman," Matthew mutters under his breath.  
"I'm way too old to change, Nami-san," Brook responds.  
"So, wanderer-san," Robin begins. "If you traveled all the Blues, then, where did you start?"  
"That's an excellent question, little lady!" Matthew says. "You are obviously the smartest of the group."  
"Oh, you flatterer, you!" Robin chuckles.  
"Anyway, to answer your question," Matthew continues. "I started out in the South Blue. I was born there."  
"Really?" Chopper asks.  
"Yep!" Matthew confirms. "The island I grew up on was beautiful~! It was always nice and sunny and there were lush forests dotting the island~! In fact, each of these things I'm wearing is from each of the Blues."  
"Cool," Zoro says.  
"This cross of mine was a gift from my mother when I left home in South Blue. This hat was given to me by a girl in West Blue. The dog tag was a gift from my best friend in North Blue. And the hachimaki was something I got in East Blue."  
"You have quite a history," Robin smiles. "Maybe I should study you for a while."  
"Sounds terrific, Robin~!" Mathew says, flirtatiously.  
"But, Robin-chwan," Sanji says, sniffling. "I thought I was your archeological find of love~!"  
"Well, looks like you thought wrong, man," Matthew says.  
"You!" Sanji shouts, pointing at Matthew. "It's your fault! You must have done something to seduce Robin! You used an evil love beam technique that you brought from your accursed South Blue! You're after Robin-chwan's purity!"  
"And you aren't?" Matthew responds.  
"In the name of love, I'll pound you into the ground!"  
"Cool it, Sanji!" Nami shouts.  
"Yes, Nami-swan~!" Sanji shouts, becoming all lovey-dovey again.  
"Shishishishishishi~!" Luffy laughs. "You're a funny guy, Matthew! Do you have anywhere to be?"  
"Not at all," Matthew smiles.  
"Then, do you want to sail with us for a while?" Luffy asks.  
"Why the Hell not?" Matthew responds with a smile. "It'll be fun!"  
"Ya-hoo!" Luffy shouts happily. "Zoro! Break out the grog!"  
"Aye-aye, captain," Zoro grins.  
They pour out ten mugs of grog for everyone and clash glasses together.  
"KAMPAI~!"they all shout the toast.  
After the third drink of grog, Brook heads over to his violin case.  
"This calls for music!" he says, happily.  
"Hey, Brook!" Matthew says.  
"What, Matthew-san?"  
"Do you mind if I sing a song?"  
"Of course not! What song is it?"  
"Tobacco Island. It's a song about my home."  
"I'm not sure I know that one."  
"It's ok," Matthew says, going over to his bag. "I got sheet music and the proper instruments."  
Matthew reaches into his bag and pulls out sheet music, a mandolin, an accordion, and a large drum.  
"I'm short one guitar, though," he says.  
"That's alright," Franky says. "I've got one and I know how to use it."  
"Great!"  
Once Franky gets hold of his guitar, they're ready to go. Brook is playing the mandolin, Usopp is playing the accordion, Franky has his guitar, and Zoro has the drums.  
"Ok," Matthew says to everyone. "Feel free to dance along if you want. One, two, three, four!"  
Zoro starts them off with the resounding drum beats and the clacking of the drumsticks. The instant Matthew begins singing, Brook and Usopp join in with a jaunty tune.

_Out to Hell, we must sail  
For the shores of sweet Barbados  
Where the sugar cane grows taller  
Than the God we once believed in_

Till the butcher and his crown  
Raped the land we used to sleep in  
Now tomorrow chimes the ghostly crimes  
That haunt Tobacco Island

Then, Franky gives the song a driving guitar tune and now, the Straw Hats can't help but dance to it, despite the depressing lyrics they hear. It's the beat and rhythm that's got them.

_'Twas 1488, forgotten now for sure  
They dragged us through our homeland  
With the musket and their gun  
Cromwell and his roundheads  
Battered all we knew  
Shackled hopes of freedom  
We're now but stolen goods  
Darkens the horizon  
Blackened from the sun  
This rotten cage of Bridgetown  
Is where I now belong_

Out to Hell, we must sail  
For the shores of sweet Barbados  
Where the sugar cane grows taller  
Than the God we once believed in

Till the butcher and his crown  
Raped the land we used to sleep in  
Now tomorrow chimes the ghostly crimes  
That haunt Tobacco Island

Matthew sings with an unexplained passion. He begins to emulate the words he sings with a great, intimidating presence.  
_It's like this song is etched into his heart,_ Robin thinks. _It must be very important to him._  
But, Nami can't help but see the situation the song speaks of.  
_It almost reminds me of life under Arlong,_ she thinks, remembering her greedy, murderous former employer. _Was this guy a slave?_  
The crew continues to dance happily with the wonderful song.

_Red leg down a peg  
Blistered burns the soul  
The floggings they're a plenty  
But reasons there are none  
Our backs belong to landlords  
Where branded is their name  
Paid for with ten beris  
Cheap labor never breaks  
The silver moon is shinin'  
Cools the copper blood  
Where the livin' meet the dead  
And together dance as one_

Out to Hell, we must sail  
For the shores of sweet Barbados  
Where the sugar cane grows taller  
Than the God we once believed in

Till the butcher and his crown  
Raped the land we used to sleep in  
Now tomorrow chimes the ghostly crimes  
That haunt Tobacco Island

Suddenly, Matthew sings the next verse with such passion and longing, that the crew is almost moved to tears. Matthew himself is teary eyed as he sings.

_Agony, will you cleanse this misery  
For it's never again I'll breathe  
The air of home  
From this sandy edge  
The rolling sea breaks my revenge  
With each whisper a thousand waves  
I hear a roar  
I'm coming home_

During the bridge, Matthew switches from being sad to being happy. He begins to dance with Robin. Sanji doesn't attack him because he's too busy dancing with Nami. He then switches to dancing arm-in-arm with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp. Once the song starts again, all the Straw Hats begin singing with just as much energy as Matthew.

_Darkens the horizon  
Blackened by the sun  
This rotten cage of Bridgetown  
Is where I now belong_

Out to Hell, we must sail  
For the shores of sweet Barbados  
Where the sugar cane grows taller  
Than the God we once believed in

Till the butcher and his crown  
Raped the land we used to sleep in  
Now tomorrow chimes the ghostly crimes  
That haunt Tobacco Island

Out to Hell, we must sail  
For the shores of sweet Barbados  
Where the sugar cane grows taller  
Than the God we once believed in

Till the butcher and his crown  
Raped the land we used to sleep in  
Now tomorrow chimes the ghostly crimes  
That haunt Tobacco Island

Once the song ends, Luffy begins a standing ovation for Matthew.  
"That was awesome~!" Luffy shouts, starry-eyed.  
"That was _such_ a good song~!" Brook says. "It was sad, but at the same time, upbeat and happy."  
"I could listen to that song for hours," Zoro says.  
"Was your homeland really like that?" Nami asks.  
"I'd rather not talk about it," Matthew says nervously.  
"Fair enough," Nami says.  
"Where ever he came from," Robin says. "He is an interesting man. Just like our dear captain."  
"Let's hear it again~!" Luffy shouts.  
"Yeah!" Chopper and Usopp agree.  
"Alright, then," Matthew smiles as he sets up for another round of the song.

After playing the song eight times while drinking grog, everyone has passed out and is snoring comfortably.  
Except for Matthew; he's wide awake. Matthew gets up and tiptoes around the sleeping Straw Hats and heads outside for some fresh air.  
He goes over to the bow and leans on the railing.  
"Mind if I take a seat here, Shishi-sama?" he smiles at the lion figurehead. He takes the silence as acceptance. "Why, thank you!"  
Matthew leaps onto the railing and sits, looking at the full moon and its reflective beauty on the glassy sea.  
"As long as I live," he sighs. "I'll never get tired of life on the sea."  
He takes a blue bottle out of a special pocket in his pants and takes a swig of the grog inside.  
"Hopefully _those guys_ have stopped chasing me."

**Meanwhile, at Marineford****:**

A seaman recruit runs into the office of Vice-Admiral Kirk.  
"Vice-Admiral Kirk!" the recruit shouts. "Vice Admiral Kirk!"  
"What is it, son?" Vice Admiral Kirk, the Bold Adventurer, asks as he assembles a bottled ship. "I'm a busy man."  
"Captain Bligh and his crew just returned from their mission!" the recruit answers.  
"And is their objective with them?" Kirk asks again.  
"No," the recruit answers. "In fact, they said that he's the reason why they returned."  
"What?!" Kirk shouts incredulously, causing the ship in the bottle to fall apart.

Vice-Admiral Kirk stares at the state that Captain Bligh's ship is in.  
There are holes shot in it, the sails are shredded, and the hull is all crushed up.  
"What the Hell happened to this ship?!" Kirk shouts. "Where the Devil is Bligh?!"  
"Right here, sir," a jowly voice responds.  
Kirk turns around to find a beaten up, heavy-set marine standing with the assistance of a Marine Ensign. He is Marine Captain Bligh, the Cruel.  
"Captain Bligh," Kirk begins, attempting to repress his anger. "You were supposed to bring in the man by any means necessary. Not to get your ass handed to you and to have valuable Marine equipment torn apart!"  
"It was the criminal!" Captain Bligh responds. "We snuck up on him while he was eating! He didn't even pay attention to us when we finally ambushed him. He just kept eating. It was only when he recognized our uniforms that he attacked and it was _unbelievable_ what he did. Then, the sea kings came and we lost him in the confusion."  
"So," Kirk says, looking back at the ship. "This was all the sea king's doing?"  
"No," Bligh corrects. "It was _him_."  
"The criminal did this?!" Kirk shouts incredulously.  
"Yes," Bligh responds. "He has Devil Fruit powers _and_ he knows various techniques."  
"I see," Kirk says as he walks over to a bulletin board.  
"I'd expect nothing less from a man who destroyed his own homeland," Kirk states, looking at a wanted poster.  
Kirk turns back to Bligh and points to him.  
"Once you and your crew heal," he orders him. "I want you all to sail after him again."  
"**WHAT?!**" all the Marines scream in shock.  
"You want us to go after the man who killed Petty Officer George Brannon, the best Marine in the North Blue?!" one Marine shouts.  
"The man who publicly admitted that he idolized Dragon the Revolutionary, Emporio Ivankov the Okama King, Inazuma, and the Revolutionary Army?!" another yells.  
"The very same," Kirk answers. "This man is a threat to not just the Government, but the entire world! We must catch him at all costs!"

For the past few days, Matthew, despite eating twice as much as Luffy, staking a good peeping point for the girl's bath (earning the respect of both Brook and Sanji, not to mention the wrath of Nami and Robin) and causing a general ruckus, has been a productive and friendly member of the crew. He trains with Zoro, helps Nami out with the navigating, listens to Usopp's tall tales and believes them and helps him with his inventing, he cooks with Sanji, creating fabulous dishes of his own, helps create medicine with Chopper, he helps Robin with her research and organizing her books, he helps Franky with fixing and maintaining the Thousand Sunny, and he plays and sings with Brook whenever he can.  
But the person he has the most fun with is the captain, Luffy. They have eating contests, the wrestle, they sing and dance together. It's like they're related.  
For a man who was dying almost a few days ago, he has a lot of life in him.  
But, the smart ones, like Nami, Franky, Robin and Zoro, can tell that he's hiding something.

After days of sailing, the Straw Hats finally come in sight of a winter island.  
"Sugoi~!" Luffy, Chopper, and Matthew shout at the snow.  
"Ah~! Snow~!" Matthew sighs. "It reminds me of my times in the North Blue~!"  
"It reminds me of home~!" Chopper shouts.  
"Oi, Nami!" Luffy shouts. "Is this the next island on the log pose?"  
Nami glances at the compass strapped to her wrist. The suspended arrow is pointing directly at the winter island.  
"Yep!" she answers.  
"It looks like there's a port town to the east of the island," Usopp says, looking through his spyglass.  
"Why don't we dock there and stock up on supplies?" Nami suggests.  
"A capital idea, Nami-swan~!" Sanji shouts.  
"The Sunny could do with a do with some replacement parts," Franky says.  
"I could get more booze," Zoro says.  
"It's been awhile since I set foot on dry land!" Matthew shouts happily.  
"It's agreed, then," Robin says with a smile. "Let's all head ashore."  
"Yay~!" Luffy, Matthew, Usopp and Chopper shout happily. "We're goin' on shore leave~!"

Once the Straw Hats hide their beloved ship in a nearby cove, they head over to the port.  
They find a hustling-bustling town thriving on the shore of the island.  
"Will ya look at this!" Franky shouts, amazed. "I never thought a town like this could survive in such a harsh environment!"  
"You'd be surprised," Chopper says, smiling.  
"Okay," Nami says. "Let's split up and plan to meet at the town entrance."  
"Of course, Nami-swan~!" Sanji agrees again.  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Zoro groans.  
"Remember," Nami continues. "Feel free to shop, but we still need to buy supplies. So, if you spend too much on yourself, you have to pay me back at 300% interest."  
"Is she always like this?" Matthew whispers to Usopp.  
"You have no idea," Usopp responds.  
"Yosh!" Luffy shouts. "Let's go!"

_Let's see…_ Zoro thinks. _Where's the sake?_  
Zoro is perusing the shelves of the local liquor store, looking for his favorite type of alcohol.  
_Bingo!_ He thinks happily as he grabs three bottles.  
As he makes his way over to the cashier, a large figure with a fedora cuts in front of him.  
"Hey!" Zoro shouts. "What the Hell?!"  
"Oh," Matthew says. "Sorry about that, Zoro."  
"Matthew?" Zoro says, surprised at his presence. "What are you doing here?"  
"I'm just picking up some booze for a little tipple," Matthew says, showing Zoro the numerous bottles of rum, sake, and brandy.  
"A _little_ tipple?" Zoro says, incredulously.  
"Well," Matthew continues. "I lost all of my booze when my ship was attacked, so, I thought I should restock."  
"I see," Zoro says, still surprised.  
"That will be 800,000 beris," the cashier responds.  
"Alright," Matthew responds as he pulls out the required cash to pay for the alcohol.  
"All yours, 'Pirate Hunter'," Matthew whispers.  
"Thank you," Zoro says, hesitantly.  
Zoro stares at Matthew as he leaves the store.  
_He's definitely an odd one,_ he thinks.

"Excuse me, miss, may I see your panties?" Brook asks a young, attractive girl.  
The girl just gives Brook a kick to the cranium, knocking the skeleton into the snow.  
"How harsh!" Brook shouts.  
Just then, a man runs in front of Brook.  
"Are you serious?!" his friend asks him.  
"Yeah! The guy with the fedora, hachimaki, cross, and dog tag is beating Remus!" the man answers.  
_A fedora, hachimaki, cross and a dog tag?_ Brook thinks. _That sounds like Matthew-san._  
Brook picks himself up and heads in the direction of the men who just passed him.  
Soon, he comes to a gambling den, where two men are playing poker.  
The one at the head of the table is Matthew and he has two attractive, well-endowed women on each of his arms and he's smoking a big cigar.  
"BAHAHAHAHAHA~!" Matthew laughs. "Ready to fold?!"  
The particular man he's talking to is a grey-haired young man with a big scar over his eyes and no clothes. It's obvious he lost them in the game.  
"N-never!" the young man shouts, shivering and sneezing. "I'm the best gambler on this island! I swear I'll never lose to you!"  
"You can do it, Remus!" a bystander shouts.  
"Well, we'll see," Matthew says, holding the women tighter. "Especially now that you have your good luck charms taken away."  
The girls giggle.  
"Damn you!" Remus growls.  
Remus slams down his cards, showing a four pair.  
"Got anything better?" he asks, confident of his win.  
Matthew grins.  
"Actually, I do!" Matthew says as he slaps down his cards, revealing a Royal Flush.  
"Wh-what?!" Remus yells in utter defeat.  
"Sorry, bud!" Matthew grins as he piles up his winnings. "You lose!"  
Matthew takes a small sack of coins out of his pocket and tosses it over to Remus.  
"For your troubles," Matthew says.  
"Goddamn you!" Remus growls once more.  
Matthew then leaves with the two girls.  
"So, what are we gonna do know, stranger?" one of the girls asks.  
"I can think of several things, my dears~" Matthew flirts.  
"That was amazing, Matthew-san!" Brook says in admiration.  
"Why, thank you, Brook!" Matthew smiles.  
"How were you able to beat the best gambler in town?" Brook asks.  
"Let's just chalk it up to luck, okay?" Matthew pulls out a bag of beris bigger than the one he gave Remus. "Here, a token of my good faith."  
"Why, thank you!" Brook says.  
"Make sure to keep it visible," Matthew winks. "The ladies love a fat wallet!"  
"Really?!" Brook asks, excited.  
"You better believe it!" Matthew reassures him.  
Brook runs off to try it out.  
"Now then, ladies," Matthew turns to the girls. "Shall we?"

"Can I help you, sonny?" the drug store owner asks.  
"No, I'm fine," Chopper responds.  
Chopper scans the bottles of medicinal ingredients.  
"I'll take some of these," he says, taking the bottles. "Some of those. A few of these"  
"And one of these!" a voice says as a hand grabs a jar of ginseng.  
Chopper looks up at the man to see that it's Matthew.  
"Matthew!" Chopper shouts in surprise.  
"Hey there, Chopper!" Matthew greets him.  
"What are you getting ginseng for?" Chopper asks him.  
"I-uh-have a big performance soon," Matthew says, nervously. "I need to keep my energy up."  
"A performance?!" Chopper says excitedly. "Can I see it?"  
"No!" Matthew shouts. "Not until you're older."  
"Aw, man!" Chopper groans.  
"Don't worry," Matthew says as he heads over to the counter to pay for the ginseng. "You're not missing much."

As Sanji heads down the street, he runs down the list one more time.  
"Let's see," Sanji says. "I've got lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cumin, peppers, ground beef, flank steak, apples, oranges, and chicken-"  
Once he turns around the corner, he spots two attractive, well-endowed women.  
"Breasts!" Sanji shouts, seeing them.  
He spins towards them in a smitten tornado.  
"I had no idea," Sanji begins. "That such lovely flowers could bloom in such a harsh land. But, your lovely beauty has transformed this winter wasteland into a winter wonderland~! May I be permitted to pluck such beauty~?"  
"You're cute," one of the girls says as the other one giggles.  
"Really~?!" Sanji asks happily.  
"But, we're waiting for someone," she responds.  
"What?!" Sanji shouts, heartbroken. "Who?!"  
"Hey there, cuties!" a voice calls from down the street.  
Sanji turns around to see…  
"Matthew?!"  
"Oh, hey, Sanji!" Matthew greets him happily.  
"Don't you 'Hey, Sanji' me!" Sanji shouts angrily. "How can someone like you score two beautiful women like them?!"  
"Maybe they see something in me that you don't," Matthew smirks.  
"I'm glad I can't," Sanji mutters under his breath.  
"C'mon, girls!" Matthew says happily as he swings his arms around the girls and fondles their breasts. "Let's shake a tail-feather!"  
The girls screech and giggle happily at him.  
"Shitty peckerwood," Sanji grumbles as he walks away, lighting a cigarette.

As Matthew walks down the street towards a hotel with the girls, he is being followed by some mysterious characters. One of them takes out a baby transponder snail.  
"We found him, Captain Bligh," he says. "We are in pursuit."  
"Excellent!" Captain Bligh responds. "Make sure to ambush him when he least expects it. Remember: we need him alive!"  
"Yes sir!" the Marine obeys.

An hour and a half later, the Straw Hats meet up at the town entrance, but, they are short one member.  
"Where's Matthew?" Luffy asks.  
"Last time I saw him, he was buyin' a boatload of booze," Zoro answers.  
"I saw him gambling and he won eight hands worth!" Brook explains.  
"He was in the apothecary buying some ginseng," Chopper says.  
"I saw that shitty wanderer heading to a hotel with a girl on each arm," Sanji groans, envious.  
"I can't believe that guy!" Nami screams. "He's spending our hard earned money on hooch, poker, aphrodisiacs and hookers! I'm gonna kick his ass! Even Sanji never buys a woman!"  
"That's because I already have two on board~!" Sanji shouts.  
"WHAT. WAS. THAT?!" Nami growls, getting the double meaning of that statement.  
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Usopp shouts, protecting the cook.  
"Ah~! Nami-swan's sooooooo pwetty when she's angry~!" Sanji shouts.  
"Come on, guys!" Luffy shouts, running in a random direction. "Let's go find him!"  
"The hotel's that way," Sanji says, pointing in an opposite direction.

Matthew lies on the bed, smoking a cigar and staring up at the ceiling with a pensive look on his face. The two naked girls entwine themselves around him, tired, yet, hungry for more.  
"Oh, Matthew-sama~" one moans. "Again, please~"  
"Yes~!" her companion agrees.  
"Just give me a second," Matthew responds.  
"Oh, come on~" the girl says, pressing her body against his.  
"Matthew-sama~!" the other cries.  
Matthew sighs at their begging.  
_Is this what my mother would be proud of?_ He thinks. _I promised her I'd be a great man. Is this part of the promise? I love it, but, considering my upbringing, she'd hate it._  
He stares at the smoldering end of his cigar.  
_Momma,_ he thinks sadly.  
At that instant, the door of the hotel room breaks in as Marines flood in.  
"KYAAAAAAAAA!" the girls shriek.  
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Matthew shouts, leaping up. "Can't a guy have a threesome with two lovely ladies without drawing the attention of the World Government?!"  
"Very funny," the leader of the Marines says. "Buchanan D Matthew! You are under arrest! Come along quietly and we shall show you mercy!"  
"Hell no!" Matthew shouts, sticking his middle finger out.  
"Why do they always choose the hard way?" the Marine leader groans as he motions the bazooka squad forward.

"Did you find him, yet?!" Nami calls to Chopper, who's using his powerful sense of smell.  
"No," Chopper responds.  
"We'll never find him at this rate!" Luffy shouts, worried.  
"Good riddance," Sanji grumbles.  
"We'll find him one way or another," Robin says.  
Just then, an explosion tears a hole in the hotel building.  
"That must be him," Brook says nonchalantly.  
"Let's go, guys!" Luffy shouts as he heads off in the direction of the hotel with his crew in tow.  
When they are halfway to the hotel, Matthew comes tearing down the street in nothing but his fedora, cross, dog tag, hachimaki and boxers, carrying two girls. One is wrapped in his clothes and the other is wrapped up in the covers of a bed.  
"GUYS! GUYS!" Matthew shouts. "RUN LIKE BARTHOLEMEW KUMA'S ON YOUR TAIL!"  
"What the Hell are you talkin' about?" Zoro asks.  
That's when they see the army of Marines chasing after him.  
"Good idea!" Usopp, Chopper and Nami shout as they run along with the others.  
"What's with the girls, Matthew-san?" Robin smiles.  
"Well," Matthew says. "I couldn't let these poor girls get arrested by the Marines just because of my actions. That's just not right."  
"Well, he has a point," Sanji agrees.  
"Why are the Marines after you?!" Franky shouts.  
"It's a long story of betrayal, blood, and dysfunctional families," Matthew responds. "Buy the paperback."  
"More importantly," Usopp says. "Why the Hell are you just wearing your boxers on a winter island?!"  
Matthew looks at Usopp with a weird look for a while. Then, he sneezes loudly.  
"Dammit!" he shouts. "It's freezing!"  
"Why am I not surprised?" Usopp says, slapping his face.  
As the Straw Hats head near the docks, the sound of cannon fire makes them stop dead in their tracks.  
"What the Hell?!" Zoro shouts.  
"Look!" Luffy shouts, pointing up.  
The Straw Hats, Matthew and his girls follow Luffy's finger to see him pointing at a large Marine battleship in the bay.  
Onboard, a fat captain with big jowls comes up on deck to meet them.  
"Who's the fat guy?" Luffy asks.  
"Captain Bligh," Matthew growls.  
"You know him?" Sanji asks.  
"After a fashion," Matthew answers.  
Captain Bligh picks up the receiver of a transponder snail linked to a megaphone.  
"Buchanan D Matthew!" Captain Bligh yells.  
"Oh, crap," Matthew groans.  
"You are wanted by the World Government for sinking Tobacco Island, striking your own father, an important man to the World Government, killing Petty-Officer Brannon in the North Blue, admitting that your support the Revolutionary Army and all of their commanders, and creating general chaos and discord throughout the Four Blues, as well as the Grand Line! The bounty for your head now stands at 350,000,000 beris! Prepare to be arrested!"

**TO BE  
CONTINUED**

"**NANIIIIIIIIIIIII~?!**" every member of the Straw Hat shouts in utter shock.  
"Shit," Matthew groans.


End file.
